I'm just past 12 weeks. The kids wanted a "puppy". We told them we are getting something new. In June. But it's not a puppy. Emma's first question--"Is it a GIRL?" Tanner mentioned we better watch Jackson around the baby (he's been kind of crazy with the stick pony lately, we're all ducking for cover). And I say, five feels...... full. Like perfect. And Ryan says (or hopes), it's our finale. We will see. I am so blessed. 
And this coming weekend, we are hosting and adult dinner party. We are planning on about 15 couples. I really have no idea how this will go. We still feel like the new kids on the block- I'm going to have prep Ryan, "Now, this is so and so and his name is----- and they hunt most the fall." Actually that might confuse us- everyone hunts here. I better figure out a better way to decipher couples. I can't help but feel pangs of homesickness for friends we know. How I would love to spend a night with them.
Just some thoughts on Thanksgiving this year.
~It was nice to not have to "travel" to see family. Or to worry about having to make arrangements and swing the time off. Family came to my moms in Boise. I did drive the hour or so in everyday, but it was so worth the time I spent with my sisters and Julie and Grandma and Grandpa and, for Landon, Grandpa's new kitty.
~I still miss you Kentucky.
~I feel so....... tender..... lately. Is that the best word? I was on our base in the morning of the day of the Fort Hood shooting. It was such a sunny day and as I drove out of base, over the 4 foot deep cement walls that pop up in protection, I thought what a calm place base was. Really. I think we have regretted a bit that we chose to live off base. I came home and happened to see on the news that a soldier shooter had unloaded in Texas at army base Hood.
~I had been worrying myself a bit to sleeplessness some nights. I think it is important to say that we have had no regrets about our decision to go military. There are some definite "misleadings" that you are told about your commitment, but Ryan and I knew he could be deployed. We still signed. I have felt so very honored to be married to someone that is working for the military. He feels a strong sense of pride in his work. We love our country. I am more than awed as I see these young kids in uniform on base. I wonder, how did their parents teach them to be so selfless, and courageous, and duty-driven? They salute Ryan (and he feels akward about this), and I think, these are the kids going and fighting the battle. We should salute them. What got mixed up here? I love those soldiers fighting for our freedom.
~ As I mentioned, I was worrying over Ryan's possible impending deployment. I was praying for perspective and strength. And I had the strongest thought come to my mind. I was walking into the commissary (the base grocery store) and noticed two young airman. They were so young. If I was their mother's, wouldn't I want a good, prayerful, doctor taking care of them if they were sick or wounded so far from home? I would. My perspective changed a bit. Instead of worrying about me and how life will work without him, I've been trying to think about those he can help.
~I love this time of year. We kicked off December FHE with a lesson/reminder on why we have Christmas. Is it about Santa or the Savior? We wanted them to think about what they can do for each other and for those in need. Tanner started crying. He said he didn't have enough money to buy himself a present and one for everyone else that "needed" one. We sure know how to raise em right. Every time you give someone a present you give one to yourself. Isn't that how it works? According to Tanner.
~My little kids. I feel so busy. Doing the same thing over and over, day after day. Meals, laundry, cleaning up messes. But I find daily, they make me smile and study them. I am always asked by Emma, what are we doing today? I gave her my list today and heard her repeat back in her play. First I have to pay bills, then we have to go to the dollar store..... my exact list I told her. But, next time, she asks me about our day, I'm going to tell her: First, I'm going to squeeze you like silly and kiss you and love on your little brothers. I want her to know that that is what makes my day. Each of my kids. That came because I love their dad so much.
Or maybe, she let the kids. Either way, it was destroyed. In a matter of 4 hours. We got home at 9:30 pm and Ryan decided that he now knows what are children would do if they were left unsupervised- but we, once again, did leave them with a 16 year old girl. Emma doesn't lie yet. And Emma told me the orange peels all over the house, both levels, were from the babysitter. And the kitchen was dripping in puddles of water, the table and counters were covered in food and pizza and cheesecake. There was cheese on the couches and and the kids had climbed on the furniture in the office to get to the top of the bookshelves. Everything was out. The house was littered in craft papers and scissor scraps. I paid her (well for around here too), and as Ryan said, that was her severance pay. Never again. We talked to our kids about how we treat our home and do we do this......... to our house? As Ryan and I spent almost 2 hours cleaning it up. We argued a bit. He's always telling me to get a sitter, I always complain I can't find the right one. Was our night out worth the disaster we had to clean up? Even when I am sick on the couch the house does not reach this level of destruction. Not ever.
So, we decided, the babysitter must have had a good time. Or our children were wild. A-N-I-M-A-L-S. As in, they belong outside. I hope the babysitter just had a good time.
And a bit of this idea too. From My Adobe Cottage.
Love this look from South House Boutique.
And then these little banners. from Perch Papiers.
And this shops beautiful door greeters. From Two Inspire You.
And my sister told me to look up baby rattles. Little Sapling Toys.
And I can't get enough of Funkyshiqe.
I put this birdcage on her wall above her bed. The cage in white and bird in pink- her walls are lavender. It looks darling. From Leen the graphics queen.
How about this for Ryan? In place of his dogtags maybe? Alibalijewelery.
I ordered 2 of these steel magnet boards. I hope they fill up with Christmas cards (do you know I just threw out in the move here 3 years worth of Christmas cards?). From Steel Dreams Designs.
I made it through our Ward Trunk or Treat. I dragged a couple new-found friends into the decorating mix with me and then my mom and brothers came out to help throughout the night. I promise to NEVER do a trunk or treat on Halloween day ever again. (Maybe that will get me released?) I think we had 400ish people. It was standing room only. I look back at this month and did not make a special dinner for my family or even carve pumpkins. So lame. Once the weekend cleared I looked around my house and thought some wild people must live here! I've been cleaning and putting halloween stuff away and went to add some more to my attic storage and realized, the key is gone. Like I think the baby threw it away. I have a locksmith coming out to break me in. Such a big bummer- I can't wait 6 weeks to find it. All my christmas is up there. Speaking of Christmas, I think I need a bigger break between the Trunk or Treat and our ward Christmas party. Can I change the calendar?
ps- Ryan passed his boards! I knew he would, but he did it! No more tests for 10 years for this guy, unless, he fellows. Or trains in allergy with the Air Force. And, I think he is. Let's pretend there are no more tests....Go here for my friend Melissa's darling, darling banner.
You won't want to miss this...
oh, and neighba-lady, Traci of Amazing Mae, has a great tutorial on a burlap pumpkin.
We have gotten a good taste of military life now. Ryan has "readiness" days where he might see 2 patients and then has to get fitted for gas masks and exercise. He likes his staff and most all of the doctors that went active with him seem to be young and just out of residency too. Once again, it's just a nine-bed hospital. There is an OB unit for delivery- where I think most of the action is. Ryan's call schedule has been very easy. He takes week long call and gets paged very little. I got a mac daddy migraine this weekend. Sunday to be exact. He took me into the base Urgent Care (ER) for an IV. From 1-10 I was at a 9 (and as he pointed out, even in labor with a bad epidural, I've never ranked myself that high) and they could not push IV meds on me. There was no pharmacist to release the meds to the ER. He happened to be the on call doctor and said he could admit me to the floor and then they would have to call in a pharmacist, but who would watch our kids? They doped me up on some shots that brought it down a bit and now Ryan is under orders from me, if that ever happens again, admit me and knock me out.
I credit my migraine to two things, the smell of smoked food. I think it's a trigger. Ryan thinks I'm crazy. I point out to him even when I'm pregnant and sick it's the worst smell to me ever. He says he doesn't forget- it is vividly in his mind watching my "reaction". And, secondly, I attended a festival on base for just the medical officers. There I met other wives who detailed there husbands deployments and the challenges they faced and I could not get there conversations out of my mind. I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking how could I live for 9 months without him? And I know they need 40k more troops which means they need more doctors. And our base is considered a high ops base. Meaning, they pull from us often. Ryan says, I need to stay away from the other wives and not just smoked food smells. As of right now, Ryan is scheduled to leave next December. Which he points out, they might not need him. Overall, he still likes his job as Captain, Chief Internist. He thinks it's funny. He's the only internist, that's why he's chief chair.
Landon just bit Emma on the nose, my phone never rings. Still trying to find the rhythm of this place. And although there is so much unknown with the Air Force, still no regrets from either of us.
And I love fall. It starting to feel crisp here. I am breaking in my new cardy uggs. Love those too.
My menu board.... dry erase. Trying to get meals organized better.
No Qdoba to run to last minute at this truck stop town.
