Grandma Came to Town

She had her birthday here too. It was a sad day when she left yesterday, but the kids enjoyed her so much and Ryan & I enjoyed visiting with her. She loves each of her children and grandchildren and sees in each of them their own special gifts... we will all rise up and call her blessed one day for certain. Thank you for all your help and service mom!

I'm getting so excited!

First, I must say that I have been blessed with dear girlfriends at each different transition in our journey of continual moves. That said, I love my friend Stephanie that let me back out on a girls retreat so that I could surprise Ryan and take him away instead. It was a hard choice to make- but, Ryan and I are coming up on 9 years and we have gotten away once- when Tanner was 6 months old. I will not count each time I have been recovering in Labor & Delivery and he sleeps on the fold-out as a "getaway", sorry. And with #4 around the corner, Steph understood. And that is why I love her.

So, Ryan's mom is coming this Wednesday. I all but kept it a surprise until Ryan tried to pick up some moonlighting shifts and so I had to tell. But, I held it in for a while. We're getting away just for the night to Nashville but will be gone for 2 full days. Alone- without the kids. Is that enough time to miss them?

She'll be here to help with a birthday party this weekend and we will have her here for her Birthday as well- on Sunday. She leaves Monday, which I sense will be a really sad, sad day further proving we live to far from family as always. Curse the residency phase, okay, and maybe the Air Force phase as well.

I had Ryan home for Conference Weekend. BOTH days. He was here to witness Emma knock over my favorite floor lamp, which shattered into a million pieces and took an hour to clean up and dinged up my new table a bit. This was in the midst of the Sunday Morning session. Oh the reverence.

He's working today (I should clarify, he's on his two week block of official vacation from residency shifts, but that gives him the opportunity to pick up some urgent care shifts that can pay a pretty penny in our book of poverty). Tanner's first day of Spring Break- which has felt like a little boy fest from park to our backyard. Unfortunately, he was also not here to have witnessed Landon throwing my only good house phone into a sink of water. Don't think it's gonna make it through. Forgive me if my phone just rings and rings...

ps- Tanner asked if I was as good as a "strong guy"? For certain I said, just am not that good at bending over right now with my tummy.

pss- Sorry for myself Mandee G. that I won't meet you- but I know that I would have loved you.

My blog turned 1.

I found that my blog has been worthwhile for my little family this past year- I have always kept a journal, but this has been a really interactive way to record life happening to us and has helped me keep in touch with others.

This past year I had "blog on the mind", which morphed to "don't forget, when you get to it, blog this:...", to "blog on pause" and I think I have finally settled in on a routine I like. It's not longer taking over, but is fun to have around when I put it in balance. If it goes on pause again, I know it will always be here. Just like a nice little friend.

"Code 13" at the Zoo & Julie

Now that I know what "Code 13" means, I think it important to share for Louisville moms like me who frequent the zoo with young children. It means large animal (cat) out of the exhibit. Code 13 was our day at the zoo. I saw Zoo Staff running really hard and it caught my attention to the point that I thought, when you run like that it causes a bit of a panic feeling. So, I was already on alert. Then I was yelled at to get to safety in the Giraffe House and I could hear on the walkie talkies of the zoo workers "out the back gate" and "too much cross interference" which I interpreted to me too many people on the walkies talking at once. Anyhow.

I had this conversation with Aunt Julie (more like a sister) after my zoo trip. Julie was our sometimes babysitter & my moms littlest sister. While growing up she told us if we put quarters in the ground, Popsicles would grow there. We did put quarters in the ground, and they did grow, and she had no problem robbing us of any spare change we had. Additionally, we would rub her back for looong lengths of time for a stick of gum, she gave me my first strawberry shortcake tape player, and dated a boy named"Leaf" and I went to visit him with her once- I remember thinking he had such a weird name. She made "Chinese Eggs" which I thought were so fancy and yet were scrambled eggs chopped up so much they were like little peas. I rode the bus to the mall with her and she was always the most fashion savvy- hence being queened "best dressed" in High School. And to this day, she is still the most perfectly dressed person that looks good in anything. It makes my sisters & I all pretty envious. Anyhow- back to my phone conversation with her today:

Me: I took Emma & Landon to the zoo this morning.

Julie: Hey, you have to be careful about zoos you know. Especially since that tiger got out of that cage (in San Fransisco over Christmas). I won't go there anymore.

Me: Yah, I know. I was thinking about that today. Then there was a "Code 13".

Julie: What's that?

Me: An alarm for a "large animal out of the exhibit" that required us to quickly be ushered to the Giraffe House for safety.

Julie: SEE! You can't go to the zoo anymore! They are not safe. If one animal gets out due to bad safety standards you have to assume the zoos have poor safety standards at the other exhibits. I can't believe that happened to you! I tell you, don't go back to the zoo. Ever. Again. I mean that animal could have got one of you! Oh my gosh!

She took another call and then called me back and said she was going to tell her husband. I told her I called Ryan at the Urgent Care and he said, "crazy things always happen to you." He lightly laughed at me especially since he KNOWS I followed that SF zoo case and honestly had been looking at the animal enclosures to see if they could get out. Now I know they can.

I will go back, but if there is ever EVER a "code 13" again I will run for my life. And that will be my last trip to that zoo. And, I won't tell Julie cause she will have said "I told you so" and besides, Emma could not stand the smell in the Giraffe House and that was pushing her to her limit- I would hate to get stuck there again.

Easter Events

I wish I could say this year was the year that I really planned up to Easter... but it seems that Ryan's work schedule has been worse lately and the book I bought last year to prepare just did not get pulled out in time. And truthfully I don't know that it was age appropriate. Maybe in a good 5 years.
The Easter Bunny visited on Friday afternoon... Tanner mentioned he thought the Easter Bunny might not be. We had Family Home Evening and then I took the kids to hide for the "game" while Ryan was supposed to hide their baskets. But I think he took too long. And Tanner did too. I think he was starting to put two and two together and so that prompted his question.

I tried to have some resemblance of an Easter Dinner, but my day had been busy with extra kids in the morning and so dinner did not seem too pulled together either. Ryan worked Saturday til 9pm and then left Sunday morning for the VA hopsital and met me early monday morning for Emma's tube surgery (that's another post) so that he could relieve me of Landon. The week before was stake conference, which we went to without him too and then Easter Sunday, and that left me thinking how I much I would love to live near a grandma's house. We did bring him dinner on Sunday and he did not get paged or interupted and so that was a successful visit.

For Family Home Evening, after Easter, I did do the scriptures with the 12 eggs (that mom shared with me and I found again here ). I do love these eggs and next year for certain they will be out and used much earlier.

Easter 2008

Love Notes

As I was at our Relief Society Birthday Celebration tonight I noticed in the far corner of the pocket of my apron which my Grandma had sent me this week, there was a slip of paper. I pulled it out thinking it was garbage and noticed the smallest, smallest little blue envelope with "Lacey" barely able to fit on the outside. I opened the envelope to find in my Grandma's handwriting, "You are loved by so many. I am proud to be your Grandma. Much love. " I know that I am most certainly not her only grandchild to recieve such a note- a glimpse of her heart. And I know that the many is really not too many. But in my own moments of all too often feeling pretty mediocre and drab and sometimes unimportant being "just a mom" she reminded me that I was her grandaughter first. That she sees me in such tenderness is quite poignant- isn't that how I feel about my own children? It is. And it was nice to remember and feel the pride and love of someone that has been so important in my life. I will try harder to remember that and not be so easily discouraged. I will treasure this little note from her always.

Spring Training 2008

Felt Like

Spring for a moment anyways- new bike needed for Tanner this year. He has grown so much from last year. Maybe for his impending Birthday we tell him ;) . He wants to know why the Easter Bunny can't bring him one? Ryan said he doesn't know what kind of Easter Bunny brings a basket like that. (If yours does, please don't tell.)

Thanks for your work postman

I found this on my door today... thank you Aunt Julie and D. Such a treat and thoughtful gesture- especially since this weekend will be a bit lonely since Ryan works all weekend and I know that Easter Egg Hunts are going on at various location with family members.

Thank you Grandma! I cried when I opened your box and found the toile apron. I love aprons and will think of you everytime I use it- and all of your "leftover" kitchen items.

Thank you mom for the brown bags and for the great books! I think the potty book has been definite incentive this week and the stickers are the best of all-
I got great wood blocks from this crafty lady in the mail this week too. Thank you Heidi! Far more than necessary.
And finally, a bit ago, my good friend Jocelyn sent me this Heather Baily toiletry clutch cause I mentioned I was always looking for one. As if she doesn't have enough to do... she is so giving with each of her talents.

Blogger OOPS

Sorry if people have had there names googled and found off my site! I have removed all last names of friends so that you won't be googled from me.... I forgot to put "No" on searchable option under settings as well. Big OOPs. Sorry. That has been changed!

IF

the Ear-Nose-Throat doctor tells me "only ONE in a hundred kids" has a polyp on the tube inside the ear that is formed due to the body rejecting the tube after many months and then causes minor but still necessary surgical removal, I should automatically know since Emma has these tubes, that she will be the ONE in a hundred kids. So, surgery is planned. It is minor- but certainly not to my Emma. And maybe not to me as I manage her.

I loved hearing...

Ryan knock on Emma's door (although it is rigged so it can't be shut) and I heard him say to her, "Honey, I'm home-" as he entered to play kitchen with her. She thinks he is more fun to play with than anyone in our home. Maybe because I did not have a father that played with me the same, I have found myself studying how they work and feel deep respect for the love and bonds that unite a father and daughter. The adoration in Emma's eyes, and in his eyes for her, always touches my heart. I cannot help but feel so thankful that these little people in my life have him.

LOST

Please return the ONLY set of car keys we have for Ryan's camry. He realized this morning at 7 that he could not find them and upon frantic searching I told him to take my car so he wouldn't be late. He asked me to "look for them please." I have torn apart this entire home. Cleaned as I have gone and finshed 4 large loads of laundry thinking they might be inside a stray pocket. I've asked Emma if she has seen them twice and she tells me they are "in the door" pointing to the nice Pottery Barn Keybox I bought for our home 8 years ago because this key losing situtation was far too regular. I checked in with Ryan at noon and told him I've looked everywhere (and I am house-stuck for the 4th day in a row) and he says....."I think I remember having them in my pocket when I was out in the snow on Saturday. We should look outside." Why didn't you call me earlier I asked? So....I'm offering a reward for their return so I don't have to share my car and continue this madness of pointless searching. Reward: My husband will mow your yard (front and back) all Summer long. I'm desperate.

Update: Found. I mentioned to Ryan all the places I had looked & that I told the neighborhood kids I would pay whomever found them outside five bucks. I told Ryan maybe he should re-trace his footsteps exactly "starting from the car. I looked out there, by the shovels, and your tools, but not under the car." Guess what? They were under the car. Ryan says he wants his finders reward of five bucks. I told him I'm running away from him tonight at 8:30 to be by myself (somewhere that they have carmel hot chocolate to pay myself the finders fee.)

Snow came our way...

Ryan was on-call and when he called home to check in he said his attending was stuck in the snow and he did not know when he would get off. (Ughhhhh... for me. Such long days, but hard on him too I know.) They sent the students home the day earlier and so he was pretty much working as a one-man team. He slept almost 4 hours and hadn't showered in 48 hours and when he got home I made him lunch and he did his wind-down routine of watching some EPSN game and then got up to shower and go to bed, I thought. But, I realized he put on his coat and went outside to play with Tanner. We got a foot or so on our driveway.


Putting this cute cone head happily to work...

And testing Ryan's fort-making skills. Tanner said he and the boy across the street did the base and "helped some". From inside the house I kept hearing a "wack" and assumed they were having a snowball fight.

The "wack" was the snow being packed into the cubes and the worker was 90% Ryan.

And the boys had fun and the fort/igloo/castle (says Emma) did not collapse on them.

But, Ryan collapsed in bed. I noticed he took some advil or something and when I came up to bed he was snoring. Was it the long shift or the endless shovels of snow? Maybe both. But, we have such a good dad in our home. He always finds time to play and work hard and our kids are blessed to have his example.

Worth Mentioning

- Landon was officially inducted into Nursery today. He did well, and certainly better than his older brother and sister ever did. Ryan reminded me we have a 3 month break until the new baby comes and I realized I am very unprepared and it stressed me a bit to hear it stated in such a way. So please don't.

- Baby #4 is still nameless.

- We had a pretty solo sang at church today. The song was sang so well and it was moving (thank you Holly!) . Emma noticed right away and turned to the pulpit to watch the singer and then looked at me and said, "Aghhh, like Cinderella!" and the singer was wearing a color that resembled purple and then she added, "A purple Cinderella!" The sweet spirit the singer brought touched my heart and even my little Emma's. I could tell- and what greater compliment could someone ever get from an almost 3 year old? Is not that the highest compliment ever?

- Emma tries to lift me when she wants me to do something for her right away and then says, "You're too heavy!". Great. I'll take the Cinderella compliment please.

- I'm working on scheduling Tanner for some week-long Summer camps. Just 2 or maybe 3. I just have no idea what to expect with my life. I will have a newborn, of which Ryan won't be able to take time off from work at all to help (and so Grandma Stephens/Mom you HAVE to come please!) And then a family reunion with just a 2 or 3 week old baby in California and then one in Idaho and Ryan has to fly back early for work. So, am I insane to think that I can travel all over the place with 4 kids but 2 of them lap children? That stresses me more than a bit. I'll stop thinking about it for the moment.

Future...

Guitar Hero Champ. He loves it, loves it, loves it. He tries to put his fingers in the right place too. He obviously can't play the game quite yet, but he thinks he is. He knows what closet it is stored in and stands at it and screams until I give in and give it to him. And, if someone takes it away from him (besides Ryan) you can hear me yelling over the screaming, "JUST GIVE IT TO HIM!"Too bad he has to share the only guitar in our house with his Dad. Actually, between the two of them, I'm not sure who likes it more.

He came-

just shy of leap year and to my brother-in-laws sweet little family. Their baby number 4 could have found no better home awaiting him.

Matix Joseph

February 28, 2008

Book Tag

I liked this tag... thanks Kristine!

1. Pick up the nearest book (with at least 123 pages)
2. Turn to page 123
3. Find the 5th sentence
4. Post the next three sentences
5. Tag 5 people

1. Book: The Baby Name Wizard by Laura Wattenberg. (It goes with me everywhere right now.)

2-4. This put me in the V's for girls. The way this book reads is not sentances, so I will post the names: Venice, Venus, Vera, Verity. Since the girl names no longer apply to me, this book lists the brothers of these girls. THAT does apply to me.

So, how about: Tarquin, Baron, Thor, Adonis, Willis, Clarence, Royce, Crispin (yes, CRISPin).
As evident, we are still looking for that "right" name.

5. I tag: Lisa M, SIL Carrie, Shawna McE, Nicole R, and sister Summer.

Zoo in the snow

(a couple weeks ago, before we got the flu.)
Landon squawking at the ducks. This duck is not one-legged. I thought it was- Ryan won.

Carrying his snowball around, throwing it, and picking the same exact clump back up...

At the gorilla house. (We sat down to rest and the kids always correlate that with a snack.) As I was opening the bag of animal crackers for Landon, we had company. Landon's face is pressed to the glass with the cracker in hand and that gorilla watched Landon eat everything. Every single cracker. If that glass was not there Landon would have literally been kissing a hairy stomach.

Caution

to me... close the dryer right as I empty it. Landon climbed in and when I came back to close it he was trying to see if it would work as a merry-go-round.

Emma gets her first trim

She lost about 3 inches of baby-fine lightly curled hair. I keep hoping she will have thicker hair- please grow!

Flu, flu go AWAY

So we've had the flu again this week. Interestingly, Ryan & I were discussing when he works at the Urgent Care clinics how many people he sees who come in with the flu or cold. They seem to all want antibiotics (he hates that). In turning 99% of them down he gets strong irritated reactions. He told me he has found a way to ease the medication rejection. It goes like this:

Dr. Ryan- "I'm sorry so-and-so, you have a really bad virus. You need plenty of rest. You need to go home and tell your spouse-mother-sister-kids-whomever to take really good care of you while you recover."

So, my sick children have been taken really good care of throughout the rounds of flu. I know, because it's been by me. And then I began to suffer with the "stomach rejection" issues myself and ironically Ryan was home and he nicely yells to me, "Hey, you okay?" as I am standing over the toilet. Uhm, not so much. And I HATE being pregnant and being sick. It multiplies everything I think.

Yes, Emma sings to me twinkle, twinkle little star as I am in the bathroom and tells me I need to "go to the doctor". And I have found myself looking over at the guy snoring next to me in bed whose always ready to jump up at the crack of dawn and "go heal the masses" and offer lots of good advice. Yet, I think the "plenty of rest and have someone take care of you- Doctor's orders" has not resignated so well in my house. Just tell me, whose house does it work in? Can I come over? One final thought: Do I need a new doctor? (I'm smiling Ryan.)

Welcome to the family baby #4

Was it clear over the crying? Over Emma's weaping and wailing (that went on for another 5 minutes)? Yes, she did want a sister, and I am going to be the mother of 3 little boys. I never thought it would be!

Confession

I have a confession. I could NOT TAKE THE DANG sealed "Surprise" envelope. It was making me irritated and it was not fun and although I don't care what I have, I wanted to just know. So I peeked. I know, I know. I am lame. And, the best part is I know what IT is. And I feel so much better and who cares if my husband said I was a "temptress Eve" ( he signed the back over the tape to reassure that I would not open the seal- further irritating me).

But, it was a great surprise! And Ryan and I both laughed, and it was sweet that just he and I opened it together at home- Now we have to tell the kids. Stayed tuned....

Overheard

Tanner to Emma in response to her questions about things that happened to the characters on Ice Age II, "Emma, I told you once and I am not going to tell you again." Consequentally, Emma asks him again.

"What did you learn at church today Tanner?" asks Ryan. " Well," says Tanner, "If you were a kid and your parents didn't buy you a birthday present, how would you feel?" Ryan answered,
"Well...bad." Tanner answered, "That's what I learned today."
I further heard Ryan trying to cause him to elaborate (like, maybe your lesson was about gifts we could give the Savior on his birthday? Tanner said that was not what his lesson was about, once again, it was about getting a present from your parents on your birthday.)

Emma wanted Tanner to be the puppy so she could be his mom. Tanner played along for a bit, and then said he didn't want to be a puppy anymore, he didn't want to play with her at all. Emma not understanding said, " Oh, you want to be a cat? Come here kitty, kitty."

Valentine's Day 2008 Recap

For Dinner (the plan)

Chicken Alfredo with brocoli on Angel Hair

Spinach Salad with Strawberries

French Bread

Sparkling Juice

PINK strawberry cake with mom's Fudge Frosting.

BUT, Ryan worked, which I did not realize til after the groceries were bought. (So, hopefully Sunday Night.)

We did have Fruit Faces with yogurt and Macaroni and Cheese and, yes the Strawberry Cake. The best part.

Emma thought it was her Birthday all day long. I had to keep explaining to her it was "the day of love" but, she was certain the pink heart cake was for her nonetheless. I got a sweet love note from Ryan with Godiva Chocolates and we made sure each of the kids woke up with a small valentine gift at each of their places at the table.

Lastly, I found this card for Ryan a month or so ago. When he opened it he thought it was a "bald old guy". WHAT? I had to point out that it was a cupid with real feather wings. Way to bring on the romance. Note to self- anything that might be construde as a person with thinnage of hair causes senstitive reactions.

Tap, Tap, Tap...

Do your feet look like boy feet or girl feet? We had our ultrasound today.

The heart and brain and size were all perfect. We saw some GREAT profiles of this babies little face. We watched arms and legs move and I realized:

First, I love this little baby very much. Not that I did not want this baby. I always have. I just have felt preoccupied with the other kids (mainly that I have 2 in diapers still) to spend too much time thinking about this one.

Second, for the first time in any of my pregnancy's I have no "wanting" of a certain gender. I am genuine and truthful.

That said, we do not know what it is! The Technician did not show us and Ryan could not tell and I really could not tell. BUT, the Technician could for certain. And so, I have a sealed "Surprise" envelope that will hang on my bulletin board- NOT wanting to be opened until delivery day.

(At this point I have partial placenta previa and so have to have another ultrasound in 8 more weeks. )

To My Valentine Ryan

Snow Day

No school yesterday.
But, I was visit taught (and tutored on how to use my new slr camera. Thanks talented 1 and talented 2 visiting teachers.)
Pizza and hot chocolate.
4 Valentines for girls and 4 for boys, handmade (per Tanner's assignment).
There was sledding on ice (it rained).
Breakfast for dinner.
Tanner read a complete 24 page book- an accomplishment for us all.

Template Tweaks

I keep changing my look because I am TRYING to tweak my template and give it a second sidebar (like Jocelyn). I am getting tired of this tweaking stuff! I have to keep re-doing it. Any html advise (Jocelyn? Anyone?)???

UPDATE- I DID IT! Thanks to directions from THE Jocelyn- the true direct source of someone who knows how to do everything GOOD. Thank you!

Pictured on Heather Bailey

Hey- Check out my cute niece, Macee, on Heather Bailey's Blog. It was a Princess Birthday party, and Macee fits the mold perfectly.

Randoms

I am so glad my DVR (TIVO) finally worked so I could watch the re-broadcast of President Hinckley's funeral! The Monday after his passing for FHE we watched the DVR of the most recent Sunday morning general conference closing talk given by the Prophet. His closing words STILL make me cry. "God bless you & I love you." Poignant to me because I still feel those would be the words he would say to each of us in his final moments. The funeral was so profound to me and caused me to re-evaluate some standings in my own life. Like to try harder and be better. Which leads me to...

The Relief Society lesson yesterday taught by our president had a repeat statement that resonated: Never supress a generous thought.

Finally, I have recieved 2 emails about President Hinckley's Challenge- to read the Book of Mormon in 97 days. I cowered a bit. That's almost 6 pages a day. But I need too and so made my commitment to Ryan and now in writing. I will try hard to meet this goal. Check out: http://www.hinckleychallenge.com/

ps- I like this fatty angel. Maybe because I am getting a bit fatty myself.

Said in prayer...

By Tanner.

"Please help mommy not to be fussy."
and
"Please help me to keep my clothes on at church." FYI- he de-clothed a bit a couple weeks ago and Ryan & I were not happy. It's not like it's hot outside- it's the middle of January.

Worth Mentioning

Several things have occurred over the last few weeks.

First, we went to a Construction Auction and bid on some pre-finished hard wood flooring. We bid against an Amish couple. Interesting. We won 510 square feet at an excellent price. "Congratulations" is said- even if you win the toilets.

Secondly, came the installation. I should have took pictures. No, actually no, I am glad it is done. We thought we were short, but miraculously we made it being shy with just a few planks. Back to the auction for us in August to get the same exact match.

Third, Emma is no longer sleeping in her pack-n-play. This was an option for her. She has a full size bed in her room. Yes she is almost 3. And yes, we are hopeful for the potty success next.

Fourth, Landon says, "Daddy"- not "Mommy". It is as clear as day and he yells it to Ryan as if he won a touchdown with both arms up in the air. Ryan "says" he's working with him on Mommy. I don't buy it.

Fifth, I was bringing a warm loaf of bread and honey to someone whose Grandfather died. I placed it on the front seat passenger side. And yes, Tanner sat on it perfectly flat. It looked like a pita. He had no idea and I asked him, "Didn't your bum feel warm at all Tanner? Like you sat on the bread?" Nope from him, and yes, it was my fault. I left it there. They just got the honey and a hug.

Sixth, we had a roaming big beastly dog in our neighborhood that has a chain like Mr. T would where around his neck. It followed us and the neighbors home from the bus stop and seemed a little friendly. BUT, beastly and I am not a fan. Later in the day I was tending my LDS neighbors happens-to-be-the-girl-I-VT children so she could go to her OB/pregnancy check-up. Oh, don't you worry, that dog bombarded my house when she entered and ran up my stairs and sniffed out my rooms and I stayed downstairs so the more pregnant girl could get him out. I was so brave. The dog FINALLY left and the kids recovered and I hate that dog. It belongs to my neighbor 2 doors down. You would have thought I would have recognized it.

Seventh, we have new pet. In the form of a great shag rug that sheds like a dog. Ryan thinks in a year the rug will look like a hairless rat.

Eighth, we had a visitor. Ryan's sisters husband Nate. He is crazy. And was truly moved by the Louisville Slugger Museum. And he thinks it is incentive enough to move here. And he is crazy- not about moving here- but made us laugh our fannies off.

Ninth, I bought a new table. And got it home thanks to a neighbor. It was from Costco. And Ryan set it all up and guess what? I don't like it. (Laaaacey! was said by him and among other nice things) and so, another nice neighbor helped him take it back. And I bought another table. I have to pick it up Wednesday. Which leads to...

Tenth, I am totally undecided about several factors of insignificance in my life. But am almost decided that I want to be surprised by the gender of this baby. Totally not me. I am a planner. But, I am okay with the surprise. Although, I "feel" like I know what I am having. (Will not be disclosing this in case I am wrong.)

*pictures to come

Christmas events

I wanted to make sure I wrote about Christmas this year. Ryan and I both felt that this was the most enjoyable Christmas through the eyes of our children so far- Tanner and Emma were so excited. We experienced the Polar Express Train earlier in the month... which took us to the North Pole. I wish it was as magical as the movie- Landon does too.

Ryan was able to go to church the for the Christmas program- Landon's favorite place is not yet church.

We spent Christmas Eve with some friends and re-enacted the Nativity. Tanner was a wise man and Emma an Angel and Ryan and Landon were shepards. The company was great and everyone walked away with a raffle gift (coloring books and fake jewlery- thanks Golds!).

We got home in time for our tradition. We hide the baby Jesus (a little people nativity piece), darken the house, share a flashlight and search for Him like the Shepards did of old. He was found and then sang to. I looked forward to this the very most. We cannot sing- okay, I cannot sing- but I was particularly touched as I watched all 3 children kneel by him.

Cookies for Santa, oats for the reindeer on the porch, scriptures and prayer and "It was the Night Before Christmas" and off to bed most of them went. I watched a bit of the Christmas Story and Ryan worked as an elf.

Christmas morning was perfect. We started if with a family prayer in our room and then they raced down the stairs. Emma's highlight was a bistro size table and chair set and kitchen accessories (for last years kitchen) Tanner got some transformers and lego stuff and of course Santa brought the Star Wars Lego Wii game (that Ryan really wanted). Landon got a ride-on truck but really prefered Emma's gifts. We had a yummy brunch with friends at 11 and then were home to play and play. Thanks to Paul for the Honey Baked Ham- we were getting ready to eat our Christmas Meal about 3 when I noticed I started bleeding. My doctor told me to come into the ER and so off I went. Ryan stayed with the kids.

After many minutes they finally found the heart beat and at a doctors visit the next day they found I have a Subchorionic Bleed (when a blood clots form within the layers of the placenta. More often than not, they heal themselves.) I made it home just after 7 to hungry kids and a husband that said, "I couldn't get anything done!" I know! Christmas dinner was reheated and finished in minutes.

Just a side thought, as I was driving to the hospital really thinking that I had probably lost the baby, I felt so grateful that I have 3 perfectly happy healthy children. As much I as I thought I was going to receive heartbreaking news for this pregnancy, I really felt so content with these 3 little people I have been given to care for here.

Ryan worked a 12hour the next day at an urgent care clinic, my SI joint in my lower back finally gave on me & I got adjusted and we took the kids to the Science Center, hit Costco for groceries and Ryan took the house lights down, and the Christmas tree and all the rest came down yesterday. And it is over. I loved almost every minute of this with our kids- minus the whining that tends to happen. And I would have loved to be near family... I thought of everyone together and then tried not too think about it too much.

True joy

I'm grateful for visiting teachers and being a visiting teacher and my companion. I have seen my simple (I really need and I don't know what to do) prayer answered by this service. I am so grateful for the unexpected but perfectly timed meals that have been dropped off at my home in the last few weeks "just because" they knew/suspected I felt lousy. They fed my family but really fed my heart. Thank you! I am grateful that we have a heartbeat. I am grateful that Tanner thinks "Dad wastes his time on too too many meetings." He really doesn't, but I am thankful Tanner wants to spend so much time with him. I am grateful for my 2 1/2 year old constant helper in the kitchen even though it is another mess, everything is always "delicious" to her. I'm grateful to miss all my family right now- it reminds me how much I still need them and that we should move closer. I'm thankful for babies, however they come, and that one of my dearest friends will be sealed to her sweet baby this month- forever. I'm grateful for Christmas cards and Alabama Christmas. I am grateful for my sisters and friends who are just like. And, I am joyfully grateful Ryan is almost half-way through residency.

Grandma's having a baby?

We recently discussed the nature of keeping "appropriate" secrets in our home. It led to this conversation before Thanksgiving:

Ryan and I- Sometimes it's okay to keep some secrets. Like things that we talk about as a family that are private. Can you keep this private? We want to share this with Grandma and Grandpa when they come this week and we wanted you to know first.
Tanner (smiling)- Yes!
Ryan- What is this a picture of?
Tanner (looking quizzically at an ultrasound picture)- A baby?
Ryan and I - Yes..... what do you think?
Tanner (looking) - Is Grandma having a baby?

Ryan and I laughed and laughed. Nope. But, I am. Due July 2nd. And the recent cause for my absenteeism in cooking, blogging, and overall un-motivation. But. I am almost 3 months. Hopeful that I will be on the upswing soon.

As a side-note. Tanner told my neighbor I was home "resting" one day as he was out playing. She asked if I was sick. She said he thought, and then said, "No, it's a family secret."

We had a feast

Ryan's parents came into town and left too soon. There was no delay in there grandchildren remembering them, the same thing happens when my mom comes too. I could not help but wish we were closer to family. It really makes my heart ache. Especially for my kids.

Yes, Grandma left the digital thermometer in the turkey while in the oven, Grandpa said he appreciates no matter what Subway Sandwich you go to, even in Louisville, you always can be greeted by nice Indian people, we half-way made it to the zoo before a rainstorm hit, I took them on a very long (out-of-the-way-yes-I-know-where-I'm-going (not) ) scenic drive, we had Grandpa's true Wednesday Birthday Dinner at Marks Feed Shack (where I had the best BBQ hamburger I have had in my life, oh and the Buttermilk Crunch Pie sundae in the cup for sure is worth every bite). We watched Evan Almighty, had a very official "Lighting Ceremony" for our house Christmas lights, the kids stayed up way too late every night. We trekked to cut down our own Christmas Tree and they helped us set it up and then we had to take them to Graetar's Ice Cream. And before we knew it, they were gone. But, we think it should be a requirement to come back next year for Thanksgiving. It's our new tradition.

Don't miss it!

Go here (my cute little sister) to enter her Pay It Forward contest. She's sending out her favorite things! (Did I mention she is one of my favorite things?) I bet her favorite things will be a treat to get.

Thanks

Landon's walking almost everywhere, Emma thinks her feeted zip-up jammies are one large "pocket"- she zips notebooks and babydolls and sippy cups away to be slept with all night, Ryan's 32nd birthday was met and ended with all his family calling to talk, I've about nailed down the plan of attack for my new "party girl" calling, Tanner still makes me smile with his toothless "evey" (even) sentences, the family reunion postcards are about in the mail (check out my moms blog for the proof), and I've watched friends here care for another- seeing endless glimpses of love and service, encouraging me to be better. A Harvest House indeed.

Happy Birthday Ryan

I am so glad that this smiling picture of you

is still exactly who you are today.

Almost always happy and optimistic, and surely the favorite parent in our home. That's okay, you're still my favorite too.

Happy 35th Birthday!

(okay, 32nd)
xo